The 3 Women/People In My Life

Sometimes life doesn't give you what you want. Instead it gives you what you need right now. The Rolling Stones have a song about it. 

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want, yeah
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
Well, you just might find
You get what you need

It is no secret that I have been looking for love and friendship, and I have been trying to find both. Well it seems that life has a sense of humor as twisted as my own, and that can be very twisted. So without realizing it life has taken the time to assemble a supporting cast of three women/people who now fill much of my life. And although it still leaves gaps, I have to say I am grateful to each one who in their own way makes my life better. Each has become an important part of my current life in different areas; Work, Best Mates, and at Home. And without any one of them my life would be much poorer, less interesting, less funny, less supported, and much more stressed out. 

So let me acknowledge them here, and excuse the terminology, this is really meant as a form of endearment and appreciation, with a humorous twist.

Work Wife - is someone I started working with my first day at my job. A first day bond started with us. She is in her early 40's, and has a heart of gold. We have had to work in very close proximity since we started, and now on our special project our work relationship has become closer. We have actually become quite dependent on each other, a balancing act of ability and temperament. Our work is technical, at times physical, at times frustrating as things are slow to organize often. 

My Work Wife will see my frustration, grab my coffee or energy drink, and my cell phone playing music, bring them to me, and urge a breather. If my hands are full and my glasses slipping she will push my glasses up. If I need help with something she gets stuck in. We work together and apart, moving between the two seamlessly.

And if I am allowing frustration to continue she leaves me alone and moves away from my then negative state of mind. I appreciate her doing this, and I have apologized. My WW is a great person to work with, we can have fun, we back each other, we share ideas and techniques we have developed.

I would not swap my WW for anybody else at work.

Best Mate Wife - My BMW met me on a rainbow course, and very slowly we have become best mates. We have a few common points of interest; psychology, mental health and physical health issues, and going on outings together, and hanging out. She is a well educated woman in her mid 30's, and I enjoy the intellectual conversations.

There is a real special level of empathy and care for each other, when either of us is having health issues of any kind we are quick to call each other and we help each other however we can. Having somebody who can look at your horrible past and see past that to the real me that exists now is special, there is no judgement, just care and support. The honesty and vulnerability we share makes communication easy, and we can talk about the things weighing each other down. We have helped each other move, gone to events, had good walks and coffee outing.

Yesterday after helping her with some settling in and mental health support, I shouted her out to dinner. We went to a place I had always wanted to go to serving Vietnamese food, a simply place, good food, fast service. It was the first time either of us had been out with a friend to eat a meal at a proper dining establishment with a friend in some time. 

I gave her a special heart I made to remind her how great she is each day, she gave me this fantastic couch.

And when I have my small operation she will be my main support person.

Home Wife - My home Wife is a non-binary person. They are my new flatmate. from just over a month ago. We seemed to find a bond very quickly, and they were always my first pick of all the applicants. 

In their early 30's, we have a number of common points of interest and experiences. Both of us have pain conditions, both have twisted sense of humors, both intelligent, and there is trust and respect. There is also care and thoughtfulness. They have a good sense of style, kindness, and helping out. I have coffee made, coordination in the same space together, and if something sounds not right they are quick to check on me to see I am alright. 

We are both a bit different in our thinking, and we take time out shopping and coffee/eating together, they are magical times for me. Fun. They are so good at being themselves and not caring what others think, much like me. They talk straight to me, so communication is good.

Both of us are neurodiverse, and I think that helps us appreciate each others thinking. We have some overlapping music tastes, and in general a respect for life and each other. Neither of us is a wall flower.

And she has a cat, Helena, who is a rather beautiful tortoise-shell on the smaller side. Helena is very scared of me, I am much taller than her servant. We are making progress, I can pat her if she is with the servant. And if I am lucky she will come and smell my fingers for food.

So thankyou to you three, because my life is better for you being in it.

Aroha,

Geogina