So Much Hate & Fear & Misunderstanding

It had to happen, some negative feedback that seems to have loaded my news feed with hate from all angles. Who knew there was so much local hate.

And then again, did it have to happen? Does this hate need to exist?

I knew that my last blog piece might stir the pot a little, it did the previous week at a trans support group where one person had a negative reaction, while others got to understanding what I was saying. The negative reaction lives in a silo, and they found it hard to see outside their rose coloured world.

It is not my intention to trash Drag Queens, and the fact that some people think that is perhaps my writing or other peoples ability to understand, or most likely both. It can be easy to get things wrong just through grammar, a fact I was reminded of last night when speaking to my flatmate, where I was reflecting on using a "brown eye pencil" when I meant a "brown, eye pencil". One is rather funny and weird, the other refers to a type of coloured makeup pencil.

So the meaning of the message, not revealed to those assembled (name that song), was a message that is being reflected about many things and people. There are gay and lesbians who have fought and got their acceptance in wider society, who are now found they are getting backlash from society because of some of the other letters in the rainbow alphabet which are drawing a very negative response from some parts of society.

These are the other gender identities that have other pronouns, and those of us trying to use spaces normally assigned to CIS gendered people. These are the bathrooms, changing rooms, groups, medical services, etc. that people like me are using. For some people in society this is a step to far. We are currently experiencing lots of pushback in some areas.

The thing is it is a reaction based on bias and fear created to whip up a reaction, and the experiences of some of society. 

What experiences?

Over my life time, and thats reached 55 years, I have seen and experienced many things, things that the younger generation in this country have never seen or experienced. Once there really were few trans-people outside the bigger communities. Even gay and lesbians would keep a low profile where they could. The law came down hard on the rainbow community as it was then.

One of the most accepted parts were those who did drag acts for entertainment. It has been Drag acts through the ages which have shaped the basis of societies opinions. In my life experiences these performances have been based heavily on a heavy sexualised performance, that has left the R18 places, and roams the street or other venues. Drag by its very nature is high-visibility, often loud visually and sonically.

Yes there are non-sexualized things Drag Queens do, it is just not the image the memory of society has. And much of society doesn't understand the difference between a Drag Queen, a transwoman, a non-binary, and even a crossdresser. This has coloured public understanding, and for some, their expectations.

So my thoughts are not an attack on Drag Queens, or a fight. 

I am reflecting that the typical behavior of Drag Queens in my experience has not and is not helpful in general for some of us.

I use for my example my recent situation where my landlord is a former police officer, and his experiences around Drag Queens in Auckland, because Drag Queens are highly visible there. It taints his viewpoint, colours his bias. He is not the only one, and it does impact my world, and the world of others. 

It is frustrating having to continually explain the difference, particularly to elements of the government who do not have data about people like me and who continually associate me with their interpretation of Drag Queens. So my life is a battle to not be associated, not attract attention, educate, and deal with the usual life issues.

Would it be easier if Drag Queens had a toned down profile? Probably yes. I do not expect that they should change, they don't really interest me, and like me they should be able to express themselves authentically and enjoy life. If anything it would be nice if people understood how one groups efforts to live authentically can have a negative effect on another.

The next thing since then is the hate feed that has infected my social media very recently. Suddenly I have lots of groups that reject transwoman in various ways. It is religious backed, and TERF backed, and it really is highly offensive to me. They seem to have some growing numbers as they fight to reclaim what they see as being a female. 

It is fear based scare mongering playing on the uninformed, and scares people because trans rights have advanced so quickly. The logic is flawed, yet is twisted to try and make sense. It saddens and scares me to be honest, because being election season these people are out to get attention and influence opinion. 

And again the behaviors of a group of people impacts my life, again through ignorance and fear on their part. It shapes my world to various degrees in how it effects the people that are making decisions in my life. It is another battle on a different front, dividing my resources. I pick my battles carefully.

In my world, in my lived experience, this is what is happening to me. I feel caught in a sandwich. There are times when I have trouble fitting in, I have evolved views that I am not shy about expressing. I am in one of the most marginalized groups on so many levels, and some days I am tired of the fight to exist, be an equal, and to just fit in somewhere. I am tired of the judgement and bias, not because of my behavior as a person, it is for being authentically me challenges the world.

And I am not alone in this. I am vocal in relating my experiences and some people even our community don't like this. They don't want discussion, they don't want to understand. And that is a further marginalizing effect, and it is why the problem persists.

Aroha to you all,

Geogina