Why Am I Happy?

It has been rather slack of me doing the blog these last 5 or 6 days. It is not that the blog has become irrelevant in my life, far from it. It is as necessary now as it has ever been. And even though things are going well, it is useful to reflect on why, or notice changes which have longer story arcs.

Life is, overall, still going exceedingly well. I have very little to complain about, and the only change I would want would be to have CB (her first mention by name) here in NZ soon. Few things are really a problem, I only have control of what I think, feel, and do. And that maybe part of the secret to my current state of happiness, just managing me, and let the world manage itself.

And managing myself is easier if you focus on what you do, and where you can best use your energy, and not letting the little things go unattended and become more complex. As you know from the last post the recent past had me on a building spree, which was having an ongoing effect on the flat. 

This was showing in the presence of bed components, tools, timber, and other projects that were cluttering the place still. It was starting to get out of hand, and I noticed my mood dropping very slightly as I felt I was in a construction zone. It was looking like a big job, and in reality it was a mission. The way to approach such jobs is to recognize that it is like eating a very large meal, you do it one bite at a time and enjoy the process.

And that is what I have been doing. This has also allowed me time to focus on each problem, giving it the energy and time it deserves. The outcome has been one where I have actually improved things. The bed is now in a tidier spare room, which had to be tidied, and to do that required getting all my tools sorted. Getting these done has allowed me to regain access to the various corners and spaces of the flat making it easier to tidy them, and making me feel better about the space I am in.

I have also been tackling some longer term issues I have been putting off, which has required more attention than you might think. Dealing with major corporations overseas is not always plain sailing. In fact it can be downright frustrating, and you have to keep your calm and focus on how to keep working the problem, and some patience as you deal with people who do not always make things easier. While my English blood is happy to wait and queue, my Scottish side wants to bang some heads together. I need that Scottish side at times, to push, and to have a good swear and relieve the frustration of the worlds incredible stupidity.

 

There have been some late nights and early mornings trying to get this done, and fatigue is building, and it shows in the increasing number of naps I am having.

And of course their is the time spent communicating with CB who is approximately 16 hours behind, or as my head likes to think, 8 hours ahead yesterday. It is easier math's. Now I am still not ready to go to far into details yet, or make announcements, so I shall say things with CB are going really well, and that I have certain feelings and emotions, as does she, and that our thoughts are moving towards making things more real. It is a time of communication, being open, and starting to plan a future. The state of things can be best reflected in my relationship status on the Facebook page, which now reads "In a relationship". Right now I want nobody else, and am not looking elsewhere. CB has my heart, and there is nothing more to say.

If this is feeling like every thing is going quickly, it is in ways. My whole life feels that way, well,  except finding a new place to live. CB and I talk lots, and deeply about many things, and this is really good because it is meaningful talk. Right now thats all. This is still a private matter and I talk about to help reassure people, though some may feel more worried. It is part of my happiness.

I have had a number of social engagements and done some exploring on my own about town. There was a great Friday lunch with Julie, and then a night out playing pool with the rainbow ladies where I did not get to the tables, yet I made a new friend in Emma. There was a great day out shopping with Sarah, and that was fantastic. And there was a night out Monday for the 10 year anniversary of the Marriage Equality act coming into force. This finished at the Nirvara Lounge where a great evening was had. I wanted to dance, and with CB. Hopefully soon that will happen.

 

Work was great Monday, with some heart felt thanks coming my way for recently helping out during some difficult days and taking the load off one of my bosses. There was also news she is moving on, and I would be an ideal candidate to step into the job. So I am applying.

Lastly, I had a conversation with some rainbow community and leaders about the recent backlash against trans people after that trouble stirrer from the UK visited briefly. There has been much online activity, even against the local council who are supporting our Pride festivities. I told them I don't get any of these problems in real life or online, and I am high visibility. I am loud, proud, and I don't take shit. I speak my mind, respectfully, and I simply had no problems. I told them that replying to these shit stirrers was playing their game, and we need to play our game. There was such paranoia about trouble happening that the Police have had a presence. And this just confirms peoples perceptions of danger. We create change in the community by being examples of good community members, and thats all we have to do. It is sad when people start to succumb to fears like this.

Well that is me for now. Aroha to you all, especially any living in fear.

Geogina (who wants to dance with CB)