Happier Days Are Here Again

This week has been a very happy one so far. It really seems funny even acknowledging that feeling of happiness I am experiencing. Happy like this is not my normal, as reading this blog will have informed you. I have spent years on a roller coaster through dark places living a life of lies in that distant past. I never really knew happiness because my whole life was not real except in bits.

At the moment this may be an abnormal high spot, and life will certainly have further challenges and pressures. And eventually it will have dips. This is all normal for anybody in life. Right now I want to surf this wave and enjoy life and the joy in it right now with the people who are making a real difference in my life. I don't think it is to much to ask.

People in my life are happy for me, they know I have been struggling, and they know I work hard on tackling life and developing myself. Even my sister has commented on my photos that show it. It feels good being happy, and I mean really good. I get great compliments and thanks, I feel appreciated, and I feel like there are people in my life beyond professionals. I feel more connected, I feel great about myself, and I feel I am attractive to people to want me in their life.

Monday work was as usual a great way to start the day. I had a delivery at the other end of town in suburbia, where everything looks the same. I had studied Google Maps to get there, which was actually rather straight forward with my navigation skills. What I had not checked was the return trip because it is different as I would find out. Delivery was bang on time. Perfect. Total of18-mins, 2-mins better than the app said.

The return was very different, because it did not seem different. The thing that complicated it was the Waikato Expressway, a bit newish, I had not used it much. The design seemed great. That is until something made no sense and I ended up on a 40-min return trip which really ended up circling Southern Hamilton via the countryside and several places I had not been. It was rather frustrating, so I laughed and called work explaining my lateness.

The trouble was that the designers of the Expressway did not have matching exits and entries, there were mismatches, and I felt poor signage. You had to know information that was not presented. I vowed not to get caught on that again.

The rest of Monday was getting ready for my trip Tuesday, so overall rather mundane, except for the excitement I felt at going to meet my friend Lyn. I really was. excited, and I spent time choosing my outfit for the next day. I wanted to live up to my photos. This was our first meeting in person. It had meaning.

My trip done included a near accident on a country road, and an act of kindness to me when a lady running the gas station at Atiamuri purchased me Feijoa sweets because I could not unblock my card. Karma.

I arrived late due to road works. Not by much I suppose. Our first sight was all I could have hoped, we were both so pleased to see each other. Big hugs and we went out back to the pool for photos. My sister says she has not seen me so happy for a very long time. 

A great day was had, first at a café with fantastic food, and then into a kitchen supplies store where I was in heaven. Lyn got me a gift here, and it was so unexpected. An art gallery was closed, so we went back to the motel, had a coffee by the pool, and shared our lives and thoughts. Lyn had a swim in the thermal pool, I paddled. Life was good. We chatted some more for more hours, and there was no feeling that we had run out of conversation. Lyn has become very special to me, and I will visit her later in the year.

Wednesday was great as well, starting again with an excellent days work. It was followed by a chat with another special new friend that has been developing that I have not yet talked about. CB as she will be known as for now, is another person making a big impact in my life. It is early days, yet I have feelings, and I have not felt this way with somebody for a very long time, maybe ever. Don't worry, I am keeping myself grounded. At this point I am not prepared to talk more about this, I have taken feedback from several close friends. I have good friends around me. They know me rather well, and one said they admired my courage in being ready to risk my heart again even if they were skeptical about CB. Thats me, ready to risk my heart to explore love.

I also started another small project. The trip to see Lyn had given me ideas, and I thought myself rather clever. I shall post pictures soon. Its nice to feel the creativity flowing, and that is the joy of life I feel right now.

Thursday was another great day. It started with my neighbor coming over for a chat and cup of tea. We can connect quite well, and she is 4-months pregnant with first child. Really rather amazing, and I have a healthy envy.

I rushed to see my support worker B who was on her last day of work. She has been great, very supportive, and in many ways a friend. I will miss her. I also caught up with KW my key support. I have to be honest and say I was chatting with CB through much of this, and I opened up to them. 

The chat with CB continued for several hours, we both seem to be at the same place. Things feel right.

Yoga was required, and todays session was really required. I was on cloud #9, and I needed to stretch my legs to keep me grounded. N, my tutor, could see the emotional joy and change, and we talked about current events. The joy had released stress, and in my session my body was able to do things it had never done before. Wow! I amazed myself and N, I was so pleased, it reflects my life, I keep trying until I succeed.

I had an evening out to my course, The Big Q, and it was a very interesting night exploring ideas and reflecting on myself. It showed that actually I am a person that lives really openly, that I have empathy and nuanced thinking, and live very forwardly, prepared to risk and explore. I am very different to the group.

I got a pizza on the way home. As I ate and typed this up I reflected on all the wonderful people in my life right now. Each of these women are making positive impacts. I am surfing this wave right now and I will ride this wave as long as I can. Positive things are coming from positively exploring life, and things are in balance. It is like rewards for living life well and for good. I am no longer alone, or isolated.

Aroha all, live the joy in your life.

Geogina