Trying To Make It Work

The sleep was short, and ultimately I slept in an hour. Fatigue was still present. Motivating me was a meeting with JM whom I had not seen for almost 2-months. I had another meeting with my peer support mentor JL later on. And tonight was the first meeting of Rainbow Hub Waikato for the year. Not a busy day as there was space between each event.

I got myself ready, and I like to go out in a way that reflects the occasion and my own style. I err on the side of over-dressing. I like to look nice and express myself through clothes and makeup. Dressing up like this is important to me. Wearing strong and bright colours is me telling the world "this is me, and I am confident enough to be seen, I own my image". 

The meeting with JM ran long, an hour, which is twice or even 4x what many others get. I joked to her that her absence had halved my social life. It is not quite that much, I just enjoy dealing with her. She has a reputation of being mean and tough and hard. She is not. She is over worked, works hard, and cares about her job. Treat her well, be straight up and honest, and treat her with respect. Do that and you have a supportive and helpful supporter. Suffice to say, I really like her. She gets me most of the time, except over A. And that is because she cares for me, and she is not afraid to put forward her concerns and question my motivations. I like that. I think her new hair style softens her image. 

We talked about everything from Christmas to now. That was lots to cover. There were some good things, like connecting with my daughter, DD, and then the mess with A and problems making connections in the rainbow community. 

It is so good having her back.

My afternoon meeting with JL was cancelled, she was not well. Such is life, though I will catch her tomorrow night on a course we are both attending.

I then went into town to browse and maybe get some things at a variety store. It is hard to find what I want, and in the colour or size. The item is ribbon. I want to make some hair accessories and other bits and pieces to display the trans-flag so to speak. I also want to display I identify as a lesbian. Many people would not. As you know I am not just anybody, and I am open, loud, and proud of who I am. I may have to wait until Friday. 

Shopping these days has one problem, the need to urinate more than most people. It is such a frustration. 

A call from B was welcome, with a request for a catchup and to give her a hand. I knew this was because of yesterday and the feed back to her from KW. They were keeping an eye on me and providing some human connection. It was appreciated. 

I was helping sort through the clothes wardrobe, sorting clothes to keep or send to the op-shop. I found some nice items, nothing my size though. Thats okay, I have a good collection. A coffee and a good chat and share was also appreciated, and I gave her some details of A communications so she could see what was real. After dropping off the clothing to my favourite op-shop I returned home for a late lunch.

Lunch was light and simple. I spent time on the internet, then fell asleep watching YouTube.

I woke at 5:10pm, my rainbow meeting started in 20mins. My makeup needed attention, and so did my clothes. It was a rush, and then I had just got down the road when I realised I had left my phone behind, which also has my license and cards. So back I went. I arrive 25mins late.

Tonight was different, it was like and orientation night. It sucked up all the time. Yet it was useful. There were the usual younger group, and a new transwoman a little older. In fact it seemed that beside facilitator staff, there were 8 of us, and at least half of us were trans (women and men). This was good. I made a connection of sorts with one, and we talked about some stuff. Interesting. It was interesting they were there in such numbers, and their issues were things I was concerned about. 

I also had a chat with staff over some issues. It was a good open and to the point chat, and we established a solid understanding of some issues I was happening, some agreement, and a possible path forward. Felt positive.

Coming home to a nice leftover dinner I have been doing some thinking. And I think next meeting I need to start asking questions.

Aroha all, and a shout to all those around the world who are suffering the effects of mother nature.

Geogina