Order & Out Of Order

It is the strange effect of having a job that life develops the a sort of organization as the rest of your life becomes arranged to orbit the job. My life is really very much like other people that have jobs. Likesome people my work days are variable, and that means the rest of my life has to be variable to some degree.

Work is a refuge for me, a place where I feel an equal to all other people. I am respected and valued, and addressed and treated as I identify. The work is easy, yet it can be very busy, and there can have lots of variety, something I like. It also gives a structure to my week which varies, and that keeps somebody like me mindful of my motivational energy. In some ways it is for me not even work, I enjoy being there, it is a privilege really.

Sleeping in an hour upset my starting routine. Lucky my routine can be slimmed down and is well practiced. Then I struck terrible morning traffic which was moving at a literal snails pace. I was 5-minutes late.

This week I had two consecutive morning shifts. I like the morning shifts, there is often lots to do. For me I can knock out the primary jobs quickly, and then I can easily be involved in other jobs. I don't mind cleaning jobs, or maintenance work. It is necessary for a cafĂ© to do these jobs and I find a degree of satisfaction in the routine of this work.

Today was a driving job at the other end of town to pickup some of our catering gear from a job last week. I enjoy these jobs, it allows me to develop my local area knowledge, parts of town, and how to best get about. It was a nice day, traffic was heavy, and I used the trip to develop alternative routes that bypassed problem areas. For me this is fun.

I also used the time to practice raising my voice an octave to feminize my voice more. This is mostly a series of vocal exercises which are repeated over and over, and then followed by speaking some phrases. I did this there and back, and it made me happy. Being me makes me happy. Today was shaping up well.

I ended my shift at midday, with a small pile of food to take home. As I had a meeting to get to I thought I would share some with others. My meeting was with B, and we enjoyed the shared lunch I had. We chatted about many details of my current life, from the Elephant In The Room, through future work ideas.

I also shared food with K, a fellow woman rebuilding her life. I also shared with her details about the Maker Space at the library which I felt might be useful for her craft work. We made a plan for later in the week.

I had to hustle home as I had a meeting with JL, our weekly meetup. We talked over a number of things, including my intervention with my friend E. She to expressed her concern from what I knew. She knows I won't find myself in that situation because of my acute awareness and skills to deal with it. We ended watching some Rammstein videos, JL can be such fun.

After that I set about trying to do some work on picture frames. I found it hard to focus, and ended up napping. A simple dinner was then had, and a nice shower. I spent time tidying up, my flat was in a really terrible state. I finished my day watching YouTube until very late, silly really when I had work 6- hours away.

My sleep was not bad for me. I had some unusual dreams which were not nightmares, a change. No sleep in, I was able to have a nice start to today. It is good not being in a rush, able to organize my thoughts. I left 5-minutes early, and again the traffic was terrible. Today I was on time.

Today at work I just had extra cleaning jobs I initiated, which included dismantling two large fans which really needed cleaning. I was also working on other special cleaning jobs, plus routine work. It kept me busy and happy as I juggled the various jobs and came out ahead.

I came home, via the op-shop and a couple of purchases, caught up with the internet, then prepared to go out. I made an effort, and enjoyed my going out to get some things at the hardware store. I ran into a friendly staff member who has helped several times. I also helped a lady find a gate latch lock and some screws. She thought I should work here because of the friendly help and knowledge. It is nice to be appreciated.

Into town I went for a treat frozen drink, and a wander around before finding a shop that sold cheap variety products. I picked up a few items of interest. Next was the supermarket, and it is another place I enjoy. Its about food, what is not to enjoy. A slight over spend was fine.

Some down time was had before making Lemon Chicken for dinner, first time in 10-years. Yum. 


Then it happened.

My friend E started a talk by text, checking if we were okay after the conversation the other night. I said yes we are good, I did it from concern. And from there it quickly spiraled out of control. And E declared we best not talk in such a way that indicated our friendship might be over or in jeopardy. I was rather shocked to be honest. It to me screamed out that my concerns had been valid, and he was not taking it well. 


Then a long video chat with my sister. She reminded me that sometimes I come over a bit direct and superior, things I am aware of. It is not my intention to be or come across this way. I try and get to the point quickly, which might seem aggressive to some I suppose. And when I am confident of what I am talking about I tend to speak with authority. In this case I had done both, and the point I was raising was hitting home, and E was deflecting, defending, trying to compare to my situations which they are not, and getting aggressive. When you are defending you are not listening. And somebody like me being persistent in challenging behavior is probably worth listening. I make an effort for friends in looking out for them, just as I had with The Elephant In The Room recently.

I am saddened by his response. 

Tonight besides this late blog posting I am starting making a birthday cake for two of the ladies at the op-shop who had birthdays this week. Making cakes late is a bit of a bad habit, yet I work well in these situations.

Tomorrow has just arrived, so I had better get to work.

Aroha all,

Geogina










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