Invisibility or High Vis ???

Today has been one of realizations of many things. And of course it was a day when everything went eight, just not all to schedule. And I could not have cared on the timing, it all went right, and that made for a great day.

It started with the alarm clock at 6am, and later at 7am. At 6am I realised I needed more sleep, then slept in until 7am when I realised, I had slept too late. I had planned a busy schedule and something would have to give. So, I decided that should be the important adult stuff of making appointments for important things. Not necessarily a good decision. My logic at times I admit is not perfect.

I worked on domestic chores, and then myself. There was not enough time to get my makeup done before a psychology session with JA. It is not the worst thing, having no makeup on, and I have managed to improve my outlook on going out without any on. For me the makeup helps me feel who I am, and helps people identify my gender easier.

The session with JA was the realisation that my progress had reached the point that I could deal with many things. In fact, over the holiday period I had demonstrated this day in and out, and I had to agree. So we are now at 2-weekly sessions. It feels like taking a training wheel off. I am pretty sure I will cope, JA is sure I will. It is a transition.

A burst of energy had me ready for my next meeting with KW. This was to be a shorter than planned visit, we had hoped to fit in a game. However there was a drama elsewhere that required her attention. Again, I am doing well, and my moving on was discussed.

Time was now precious, and I had 4 more things to do today. So I came up with a plan.

First part was find a parking spot in the CBD, this proved to be impossible, so I went into some paid parking for the first time here reluctantly.

Next was to make a booking for my eyebrows. I had a 25-min wait for the appointment, so I did some window shopping. The eye brows had not been professionally seen to ever, so this was a first. I had them threaded, which took no time overall, and freshly marked. A small level of pain, nothing that hurt. The change in look was dramatic.

The next task was to get to the Maker Space at the main library, where I had a piece of wood to detail, and then a dream catcher to make, and plenty of questions to ask. I know some people will be upset with the wood thing, yet it is necessary tome. Even JA agreed with what I am doing is good therapy for myself, so please keep that in mind.

The dream catcher is my first real attempt with the 3d pen. An ambitious first project the guys said. Well I made it work. Sure my technique was rough in places, yet it improved. And it looks good, which is what matters most. So with both projects done I now headed off.

Part 3 of the plan was get my hormones. Here was the drama, which I ignored because I don’t need it. The chemist was out of stock, so a ring around saw a more complex plan involving 2 other chemists, and I would pick the up later.

Oh well, at least I will get them.

Back home I got a nice dinner cooked, and eaten, I also got ready to go out to the QW pool night social. Before that was pick up the medication from the far end of town. Time was tight.

The disappointment was the blouse I planned to wear, which turned out a pinch to short. Never mind. Plan B time.

I drove for the chemist, got the meds, and off to the night out, which I made on time. I met somebody I think of as my only local friend, L, who is one of my gaming regulars. She is close to my age, intelligent company, and had on a great dress last night. We went in and chatted, and I met some of her friends.

The group of women was dominated by a particular group, which I understand to be part of the problem legacy the group has. The term TERF has been used (Trans Exclusive Radical Feminist), which is something I had mentioned in feedback to the organisation last year. It is a pervasive movement that is part of rainbow and CIS communities. It was actually really hard to make in roads to socialise, and I felt quite left out.

My response, look for a game of pool to join. And when that failed I went to play on my own. It was then that I got invited to join a game, sympathy or it looked bad, no idea. I limited my skill level a bit to give the ladies a chance, I have had plenty of time to play against some great players in recent years, and I do okay against a group of males. After the first game players disappeared, and so I went to play solo again until one woman joined me, and after a few games with her another woman.

I retreated to speak with my friend having been shunned by other familiar faces. And then I met another online contact and we discussed all number of things including my group issues. She doesn’t have these, so was interested in my experiences and insights.

It was soon after this that I left, earlier than most. My friend L had already gone, and things seemed to focus around the loudest bunch. I was tired of playing games, making the effort. I was not the only one either, there are definite cliques.

I grabbed a very large Hawaiian pizza on the way home, and ate it all. Not great for the diabetes, I was stress eating. Some of those ladies don’t care about the impact of their behaviour. And I was sure I was not the only one.

It was a late finish, and a hot night, so I slept on an unmade bed. The sleep was not great, so I got up at 5am, did breakfast, some web surfing, then needed a nap.

This left me rushing to get out of the house so I could get to the Maker Space. I was slightly later than I wanted to be, the guys were as usual welcoming and helpful. I like this space so much.

My dress code was a bit bold; pink mini with an old Iron Maiden t-shirt featuring "Paschendale". Not sure what got the attention today, the shirt, the mini, or them realising I am a t-gurl. Whatever it was I got lots of stares.

I was going to try and work on some jewellery with the 3d pen. This was more detail work, and required better skill than I had. Still, I tried, and I made good progress and learnings.

Time was short, and I had to stop off at the supermarket.

Getting home it was a rush to tidy up, and get things organised before my two gamers arrived. In the end L arrived wither son Z, who is also rainbow. We played “Stone Age”, and then “Duet”. It was a great afternoon, we all enjoyed ourselves.

We also discussed some of the issues from last night, and I was not the only one noticing things. And that made me feel better. I wasn’t imagining things.

A fish and chip dinner tonight, my first, I was starting to fall flat and did not feel like cooking. I am tired, deep down. There are other things happening I don’t feel like talking about at the moment, mainly because I am so tired.

Aroha all,

Geogina