Shit Happens, Again...

Shit happens, especially when you don't need it. Its called life, living. 

Some of us seem to have more of these experiences than others, for which I have no explanation. Maybe it is karma for my earlier life, though I had thought I was on more positive paths for the last few years. Somethings can never be redeemed.

Maybe its because I am a survivor, I can handle shit that would send others to find pills or rope. This is in part because I somehow survived these things. I have been past the bottom of the barrel, and discovered I can cope. 

I am also lucky, partly this is where preparation meets opportunity. I always have options which I have worked to create, and I maintain them. Being a creative type I am also good at improvising. I make it work.

And sometimes there is good shit, and shit that puts you on a new course. It often happens when you least expect or when you are certain you are on a good path and it forces you on a better or different course.

That has been the last few weeks really. 

After much delay and BS by my department manager, I got my letter to confirm the end of my work contract would be Friday the 29th. Two days notice. A week and a half late it was. A very unpleasant time.

Back then I injured my arm at work, fairly bad. I kept working on reduced capacity until physio the last week. Somehow the boss didn't appreciate and still moaned about a sub-standard performance. It was done nasty, and without care or thought, and came across like threats. He has no people skills, never mind management skills. 

I had to take him through the HR process, again, 2nd time.

Thankfully the physio helped lots, taking away most of the pain using a technique I am well familiar with. Oh the pain of treatment, yet the results were dramatic. I am so grateful for what the therapist did.

There was anxiety as time counted down, I was feeling very emotional. At times it was hard to focus, and my motivation to perform dropped to mere going through the motions, slower and slower, especially after I got my end of contract notice. I would have tear filled moments nobody noticed. I struggled at times to keep myself together. 

Shit can go both ways, I dropped my boss in some shit with his boss the 2nd to last day. It felt good. I play nice until you push me, and if you keep pushing I really don't play nice because I often know where the bodies are buried, where the shit is hiding.

My last day was hard because departments were having shared lunches for the temps like me leaving. That is except ours, who had one for a supervisor changing shifts, I kid you not. When asked to contribute I said no, who has lunch or a meal with me, because people move away when I sit down, and others ignore me. So I went to my usual lunch spot on my own while the others partied away, and then I went back to work early. Nobody noticed, nobody asked afterwards. I am invisible.

Well that has been the down shit.

Now I do have some good shit. I have the new flatmate moving in Sunday, and that is exciting. I have helped them out by making a bed base for them that is awesome. I have a supporter who thinks I will be better off out of there (work) and will find better. I have lots of things that I am doing to help out in various ways, a real plus. 

And no matter what I am still living my life as me. 

I will have more good and bad moments this week, that's my life. I will survive, though I will have better moments and more challenging ones. 

I am a survivor.